This doesn’t have to do anything with 'Shiney The BAI-SEXUAL Ahuja', It's all about the despos with slurping bikes and drooling eyes breathing around us. It includes females too,(yes I believe in equality.) Or maybe less,owing to our sex ratio. I have seen girls complaining, that how they get pissed off even when a guy as Docile as ' Vivek Oberoi' (who only listens to his papa ), said "Hii" to them. However they don't mind a Desi wannabe Ricky Martin Singing "I am the desperado, underneath your window" for them. Some real Despos belong to these following categories….:)







THE TECHIES: Those who use these social networking sites the Facebooks,the Orkuts, as their sex pistols (errrrrr weapons to verbally and mildly seduce the opposite genders,) even when their bases indicate 180 Degrees alignment and several KMs of distinction,if a print out of the google map is taken and analysed. If I have to stake my money I would stake it on an Indian Team winning EPL or Tushar Kapoor getting an Oscar award but I won't stake it on their rendezvous. But still they don't mind sticking their two Pennies everywhere. 'Love ya', 'Miss ya', 'F*ck ya', 'Suck ya' are the common mushy phrases ranging from mean to extremes (both the extremes I mean,he he), and I have my aversion for the words 'Babu' 'Shona' and 'Baby'.



Come on man,Babus are too much ready with the red tape,Babies are not allowed on these sites and Babies don't know how to type either, *Period*.





I also hate the the excess 'hugg'ing and 'aww'ing factors…No Actually I love them….Awww…SEE!Just gives me enough pedigree to Laugh My Ass Off,seriously :P



The dudes and dudettes, Put the half naked pics of all the models killing the costume-suspense, and the quotes which they copy from some random sites, are the examples of some wannabe sex-o-holics, who may not even controll themselves while loosing their "I LOVE YOU-GINITY".



THE DESPERATE VAGABONDS: They are always in search of 'True-sex', and their 'soul sex-partners', from Malls to local buses and trains, and sometimes in those Red,blue,green light areas. Majority of 'Oblique people' those who don't satisfy Y=mX+C can be seen on these places,(See,I told you earlier,I am..oops was a science student in class XII).Alright, before you break your head or my head for the above line, Let me tell you that Some Bhatt says "that anything that is not straight is oblique", and I know a little Co-odrinate geometry, and Y=mX+C is the equation of a straight line,where m is the slope,Y and X are variables, and C is a constant....Chiiiii chiii ...Joke ka essence chala jata hai explain karney se :(



THE MICHAEL JACKSONS : Nahi nahi, 'Micahel Jack' ka beta nahi, I am talking about the living prototype of the Human race evolution.

They have the real interests for the babies, even 30 to 40 year old uncles with Don shades, and funky colored costumes, as if will they will really shake their ass like a belly dancer if they are asked to, go literally on their knees with or without their pants. They are not He-mans they are rather hymens, they just break and 'blood'y consequences follow up.

Ha ha ha





THE FAST FORWARDS: They get the guts to approach and assault the opposite genders, as if they are the real Stifflers inspired by American Pie series. These dudes and dudettes have an accent that works from Barahampur to Barbados and Korba to California. Sportsmen worship the Pumping Iron jacks and other tattoo lovers worship Tommy Lee or Megan Fox(Jai Megan Mata). Girls having their hair coloured like a jinx of html color codes,N nailpaint like a catalogue of “Asian paints Royale” and guys having it spiked up from north pole to south pole, are the abundant types…..







Still searching…n will update as I research more!!





P.S : No offense to anyone who got a feeling that OMG ! I belong to so and so category, while reading this post :P

What do we indians need to do?

So..while beching raddi today,I came across an old edition of Economic Times...And The Headline really took me by surprise(or should I say not!)

The headline was-"INDIANS NOT ALLOWED"!

It did stir up some curiosity in me..and As I read ahead...it was a li'l disturbing for me as an Indian!

Haagen Dazs'(In case many of you who have not heard this name...they are one of the world's biggest ice-cream retailers..arguably..even bigger than Baskin Robbins) opened its first store in the capital about 8 months back..(And my wild guess was correct...it had to be in Saket...cuz outlets like Hard Rock Cafe and Haagen Dazs' can't think more innovatively..).But more intriguing was the fact that they had an "Exclusive Preview" Campaign underway to promote their product...and the tagline was "Entry restricted to holders of International Passports Only"..Well..now as an international company who has just opened shop in the Capital of a 1.2 billion strong population,the choice of words could really have been better..and sensible enough.

It was hard to believe that when the 63rd independence day is round the corner..after years of having acheived freedom from the divided world of Whites,Browns and Blacks...The so called MNCs still are so "Backward"!



Well well..I always thought that it was only us Indians who still have certain "stereotypes" encrusted in our minds..but for maybe the 100th time in my life..I was wrong :P

Even the German-American society has yet not moved on!!



The fact I am writing this article is not to throw mud on Haagen Dazs' marketing strategy or to undermine the societies of other "Stronger" and "Powerful" nations (2 adjectives which m tired of...really..Lets think out of the box...The US can be called say..Gladiator...and the UK..maybe Scrumpy jack... :P) but to draw our attention-The Indians to the reality..

The fact remains that we may no longer treat ourselves a third world nation..but the people in other countries still treat us as if we are slaves!Despite the meteoric rise of people such as Indira Nooyi as chairwoman of Pepsico or Vikram Pandit as CEO of Citibank..or Ajay Banga @ Mastercard...The truth remains that Indians still evoke reactions of envy amongst our International peers...



What the Americans could muster after nearly 200 years of independence has already been overtaken by India in terms of its GDP within 63 years of our country's birth!Look at where Pakistan is at the same juncture?While a country like UK is facing a negative GDP..India's has been amongst the highest in recent years!Where the mighty "Aussies" have a "bloody fighting spirit,mate"(Ahem ahem...I mean FIGHT)..we Indians are amogst the most hospitable and accomodating people in the world!The English wouldn't really have thought that we'd follow them back..in their own country when we talk about NRIs being the largest chunk of immigrants in the wrold..

But the reason why we still lack respect is because of our behaviour we put across..We,the common people still lack the level of thinking which has been demonstrated by greats like Jamshedji Tata,Kumar Manglam Birla,Dhirubhai Ambani,Anil Aggarwal or LN Mittal!Our society is still a 100 years off from now(Those who have an argument,you would have to see it when u go to places like Orissa or Tijara..Not while sitting in the Airconditioned confines of your room)..We still act irresponsibly while walking on the streets,while driving on the roads,while waiting on the Railway station or While boarding a plane at the Airport...While being in the Cinema hall,or at the restaurant...or in the Park!



How many of us has ever really never broken the rules?Have not spitted on the "yahan thookna mana hai" warnings..or not overtaken some1 from the wrong side..or never honked in the "No horns please" zone...never ever littered on the road?I can't see the Smoking in the public places ban imposed strictly..Even I belong to these categories...And that is why I always say(takiya kalaam types) that we Indians are the most "Hypocritical" people!

Even a beggar in India owns a mobile phone these days..but yet..he is a beggar...



How long..Till how long will we blame the bureaucracy or the law or the government for this fracas?If we are asked questions..our standard reply-"what can we do about it"...We have surrendered to fate..and we,ourselves feel we are weaker than the "First World"..That is why companies like Haagen Dazs' treat us in the same way...as we want to be treated..

We are trying to be overtly modern..and showing our desperation to catch up with others...leaving behind our own legacy..and traditions..yet clinging on to certain stereotypes...

We would rather speak English in a fake British/American accent...but would rather feel ashamed in saying a "Namaste"!(Grow up people...atleast 50% of the nation knows some English)!

How many French or Germans have you encountered who try and speak in Hindi??If they can be proud of their language...why can't we be?How many of us can say 5 lines in pure Hindi?(I can...Bet)!

Why can't we be more informal while talking to each other in a sophisticated tone...yet not alienated!!



Believe me..we Indians need to change for good...We are sitting at a point which is crucial in India becoming a world superpower...but with economy..what we really need to grow is our mindsets...to get rid of our stereotypes..mix our traditions with modernity...and then we'll beat the world!Once we do that..we might have a board in the next decade outside Haagen Dazs' stores across the globe-"Special priveledge to our Indian customers".... :)



Jai Hind!



(Actually this article was written in February...I lost my diary...so publishing it after a delay... :P and those who are tagged...Are needed to give their thoughts on this,There are only a few good debaters in my friend list...Counter or support...but this really is intriguing!)